My stupid heart...

I let my heart get broken like a flimsy twig.
its always back to ground zero,
only for my heart to try and repair.
only if my heart could talk...
it would say "leave me be" for I need to rest.
but my brain is here to overcome the thought..
my heart has no say...
it lays there helplessly hoping to be heard.
......
hoping for that one day, for the heart to stop having to sigh, and to hope this lasts...
for that one day it will last a lifetime. 
My heart and mind want this day to be the day.
but we know, that true love comes with time.
to be satisfied without the time, is nearly a waste of time.
my heart will wait for the moment that will sweep me off my feet.

Never Once in My Life

...
have I seen such a magnificent child.
Hair flowing with the air.
Skin as beautiful as a late noon sunset.
Georgeous eyes that appear of pure greatness.
Such a child deserves more honor than to be
just acknowleged.
Most people don't view the same man I treuly believe
is magnificent from head to toe.
People have no idea that I truely feel this way.
If they knew they would only judge
so its better to just sit and fake.
If the world wasn't such a cruel place
we could be in a happy place.
Since we must sit and fake all of this make no sense.
If I told you about the real me you would
finally see the "REAL" me.
Judge me if you wish for I shall not care.
I know that I love my life,
love my love,
and don't care what the world thinks.
Haters are to hate and feast on the problems
of the world.
Which the good hearted and loving men
of the world love and laugh.

Sit and Wonder....

I sit and Wonder....
Wonder what it would be like
If me and him could be together.
I wonder if he feels it too.
The magnificent man, just sits and gazes,
As I stare in pure amazement.
His minor imperfections don't matter a thing, cause all I care about is his amazing mind.
Is it sad I sit and gaze, without the phrase I wish he say. The 3 words "I love you!" Are all I dare wish he say. Kiss me on my stubborn lips.
Make my heart whole again.
Hold my hand and walk with me as my heart gets fixed again.
Leave me and I'll never live the life I had before. Touch me here, love me there, be in my heart everywhere.

As you have just read this, it is about a person that truely means a lot to me! This one person is all I think about. :)

Matthew (MATEO)

The past couple of days have been rough. All the stuff that's going that most people don't know about is really started to take its toll on me. There are only a few people in my life that actually understand my life. Its a lot of drama and stuff that just keeps me down. Like I said in my last blog the things in my life are these "fake loves". I told myself to not to let them get to me but my FOOLISH brain let's them do it! It happened and then my heart was broken. I got really really sad and started to hate this person! I can't belie that I even thought I could hate them. I have fallen head over heels for one of these fake loves. What is going wrong that makes me do this?? I never know when its real or when its fake. I only wish that I could take things slow. But its almost impossible for me, I wish there was like this implanted reminder to take it slow, because I honestly want to but just simply forget! I just have the WANT that is coming up as a NEED to have love. I have no clue why I want this but its just something that I dream about and want this. I just only hope that I don't get played and became one of those that get broken hearted and torn into a million pieces!

love? or a greedy behavior

Have you ever liked yet again loved someone that you have never really gotten to know? Most would say no. But my life is totally opposite.most people can find love fairly easy. I cannot. The main problem..... I'm much different than every other guy. What I'm trying to say is that my greedy heart is overcoming my brain and leading me to believe love will never find me! then when I finally find some, I feel like I fall in love with them. When actually in fact its only a minor crush. I hate that feeling!!!! I want love to find me and finally make me happy. But that must be something too hard to ask for?? It makes me really cotemplate my plans being here! Am I here just to find a fake love, and never to find one?? I just want to find one and "truely be happy"! I fall so hard for these fake love's that when there over, I practically kill myself over it! I don't undserstand why I'm falling so deeply in love why can't I do it for real! I just want someone to hold and always be there for me! Yea, friends will always be there, but only your true friends. When you have very few "TRUE" friends its hard to have someone to go to! Love is a powerful and captivating experience and I shall only wish to experience it myself. I hope soon and VERY soon, I can experience it.

I love ya guys,
Matthew :)